16/10/09 

They say leaving your child to go back to work is one of the hardest things a new mum ever has to do. But for the parent of a premature baby, it can be even tougher than normal. Why? Because current maternity and paternity leave arrangements mean they’re forced back to work much sooner than they would like. And it’s a prospect I face this weekend.

My beautiful daughter Molly came into the world on May 25^th – 9 weeks ahead of schedule. She’s one of an estimated 54 thousand babies to have been born prematurely in England this year. Yes, I avoided the stretch marks and swollen ankles, didn’t face the embarrassment of appearing on air looking like Ten Ton Tessie, and was given a bonus 9 weeks with her that I shouldn’t have had. But unless you’ve been through it, you can’t even imagine the trauma you have to experience in return.

What’s meant to be one of the happiest times of your life becomes one of the most worrying, stressful and exhausting. First off there’s the shock to cope with. There’s the guilt of wondering if there’s something you did wrong during your pregnancy. There’s the devastation of lying on a post-natal ward surrounded my new mothers and their babies when you haven’t even had the chance to meet yours. And then there’s the first time you go home – without your baby.

At least after the first 24 hours I was fairly safe in the knowledge that although small, there was nothing fundamentally wrong with Molly. She was 3lbs 10ozs, which was bigger than a lot of the babies in intensive care. And after the first day, she was off a ventilator and able to breath on her own. She basically had to learn how to regulate her temperature, feed, and grow. But there were parents in the neonatal ward with us who were too afraid to even give their babies a name.  Some had to leave every evening not knowing if their baby – or often babies – would make it through the night.

While other parents are celebrating their new arrivals, adapting to life at home and getting to know their little bundles of joy, parents of babies on neonatal wards keep the champagne on ice. They “work” 15-16 hour days travelling to and from the hospital, keeping vigil by their child’s bed, while often trying to look after other siblings and keep things going at home. You get unbelievably close to other parents – share their ups, share their downs – and struggle to carry on when a cot becomes suddenly, inexplicably vacant in your nursery. 

So on top of all that, the last thing you want to be bothered with is finances. But unfortunately, it all too often becomes an issue.

Maternity pay kicks in on the day your baby is born – and doesn’t take into account their stay in hospital – or their age in developmental terms. So the first 6 weeks of Molly’s life – and my maternity leave – were spent in hospital – surrounded by a haze of oxygen masks, monitors, and expressing machines. And as fantastic as the nurses and care staff were at the hospital, it was only when she came home that my husband and I were truly able to feel that we became parents. took Molly for her 6 week developmental check when she was 15 weeks old. And although she’ll be nearly 5 months old when I go back to work, in terms of her development, she’ll actually only be 3 months – based on when she was meant to be born. She won’t be able to roll over yet, sit up yet, or even have her first tooth.

Yes, people like Rachida Dati, the former French justice minister chose to go back to work just 5 days after giving birth (fat lot of good it did her) – but hand on heart – how many women really want to miss out on those extra special early months with their children? And why should they?

On the whole, I’ve been relatively lucky. The BBC has been understanding, and is pretty flexible with its maternity leave. But some of the couples we met in hospital were there with their children for 3 months and more. Some were forced back to work even before their babies were out of hospital, and others nearly lost their jobs altogether over disputes about the amount of time they were taking off work to visit their children. And for single parents – I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must be for them. 

In the current economic climate, the issue is all the more important.  Myself and my husband had some savings we’ve dipped into to cover costs, but a recent study by charity Bliss revealed the cost of having a premature baby to be an average extra £189 per week and an average total of £1,885. So parents are placed under enormous financial strain, which current maternity pay provision doesn’t take into account.

These costs are on top of all the usual expenses associated with a new addition to the family. They can last for many years after the birth, and only add to the stress of an already traumatic experience for both couples and families.

News in the last couple of weeks seems to point to a Government move to increase paternity leave to 6 months, allowing mums to return to work after 6 months, and dads to stay at home for the remainder of the 12 months allowed by law. But it doesn’t really provide any help to the parents of premature babies who need extra maternity on top of the statutory amount – it just eats into a mums time with their baby. 

Its an issue that really needs to be addressed. Allowances must be made for both mums and dads of premature babies within existing maternity and paternity leave regulations. The Government now seem unlikely to push through with their policy to extend paid maternity leave to a year  - a big blow . But its not just the economic strain, its the emotional one as well. Its not as if people plan to have their babies prematurely.

13/10/09 

Hiya! And thanks for visiting my website! I hope its told you a little something you didn't know about me already - and make sure you pop by again soon - i'll be updating it regularly to let you know what i'm up to.

I'm back to work after maternity leave next weekend - Sunday 18th October - on the BBC News Channel. Let's just hope the dream i keep having doesn't come true... My tongue keeps swelling up as soon as i hear "And now here's Amanda with the sport...." and that's it - i have to run off set!

Had my hair done in preparation today, just to make sure i don't look too shoddy on my return - just the big decision of what to wear on my first day back now - i feel like i'm preparing to go back to school after the summer holidays!

Its a good weekend of sport to welcome me back though - domestic football is back on the agenda - not to mention the Brazilian Grand Prix - can Jenson do it in Sao Paulo?!?